What Wearing Bikinis and Eating Food Sacrificed to Idols Have in Common

I know, I know, the title of this post sounds like a bad, corny Christian joke. But I promise it's not. No, this is me seeking to get involved in a conversation that has been cluttering my newsfeed for quite some time. This is me as a female, big sister, and youth leader seeking to engage in a conversation that is not new but that I believe is changing drastically. That is all about the topic of modesty.

See, the modesty conversation is changing, and not for the better. 

There is a dialogue happening amongst women today, Christian and nonChristian alike that is working to align immodest dressing with the movement for Feminist Rights. Suddenly saying women should dress modestly is limiting their rights as human beings. I have read blogs and tweets and posts all about a girl's right to show as much skin as she pleases because it is her right. I have watched in dismay as the likes and approving comments cause these posts to go viral. Everything in my mind and heart screams as I watch how twisted we have made the topic of modesty. When I was a teenager and my Christian guy friends expressed their frustration with how girls were dressing because it made it harder for them to keep their minds pure, my heart broke for them. Today when I say that, people say their hearts break for me as though I have somehow squandered away my dignity by caring about the needs of another.

When it comes to modesty, compassion has been removed from the equation and selfishness has replaced it. 

Let me make something very clear, I am not saying that women can control the minds of men or that women should be held responsible for the thoughts and actions of the men around them. However, I am indeed saying that as their sisters in Christ, we have a responsibility to make sure that our defense of our rights does not cause those around us to stumble. We must begin to treat dressing modestly in the same way Paul treated eating food sacrificed to idols.

In the first letter to the Corinthians found in the New Testament, Paul is answering a question about eating food sacrificed to idols (1 Corinthians 8). The Christians asking this question were very aware that the idols this food had been sacrificed to were not real, and that there was no magical power of any sorts in this food, so they could see no problem with eating it, and neither could Paul. There really was no problem with eating that food according to Paul, because doing so did not draw them farther from God. However, Paul tells them not to do so. He makes it clear that though the Corinthian Christians  may have been able to eat this food without falling into serving idols does not mean that their younger brothers and sisters in Christ could do the same. It also does not mean that those watching would not be confused as to what these Christians truly believed. So even though Paul understands that the mature Christians in the Corinthian church could have eaten that food without sinning, he instructs them not to. Why? Because as Christians their lives were not about themselves. They were entirely about those around them. He makes it clear that the Corinthians were in danger of making their own personal rights more important than the salvation of those around them. The final verse of this section sums it all up quite nicely:

"Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will ever again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." - 1 Corinthians 8:13

Christian sisters we need to begin making this verse a part of our getting ready routines in the morning. We need to begin saying, "If wearing spandex makes my brother stumble, I will never wear them again." "If wearing a bikini causes my brother to trip up, I will invest in a tankini." I am not telling you to dress like a nun. I am not saying we must all cover our faces and succumb to a life of inferiority. I do believe in equal rights for men and women, for crying out loud I'm a women in ministry! Still, I am afraid of what may happen if we make dressing immodestly a defense of our so called female rights. We must all remember that as Christians, our lives are not our own. If that super tight tube dress does not bring you closer to God (and I assure you it does not) then why defend wearing it and risk causing your brother to stumble? Guys, if wearing your pants way too low causes your sister to stumble, pull them up and buy a belt. Male or female, if you are seeking to follow Jesus you must seek to serve others, and if that means being a little hot because you're wearing a shirt that actually meets your pants, I'd say it's well worth it.

For more information on why modesty matters, check out this video. It's spot on. 

The Recipe for Humble Pie

As I've mentioned before, I thoroughly enjoy cooking. My strange dietary requirements make cooking and baking quite an adventure. I've discovered I most enjoy cooking when I allow it to become experimental, throwing in a pinch of this and a dash of that. It's a fun game, and through it you can develop your own recipes to add to those collected from books and pinterest. My love for creating random recipes has begun to spill over into my life. I'm finding myself enjoying the adventure, embracing the ability to experiment every now and then, and in the process have discovered a few new life recipes. 

The most recent: Humble Pie

Here's how it goes: 

Ingredients

13 Teenagers

6 Adults

5600 Miles of Driving

50 Miles of Walking

1 Service Project

14 Hours of Sermons and Music

And lots of Peanut Butter and Jelly

Instructions

After a lengthly planning period of about 6 months, mix all ingredients together. This should be done over a period of 12 days. Throw in a few wrong turns and about 800 other teenagers from all over the country and you will have successfully created a delicious, though sometimes hard to swallow humble pie. 

How do I know this works? I recently just returned from a youth trip to the Free Methodist Youth Conference held in Fort Collins, CO. As the youth leader, I got the job of planning and coordinating this trip. I had never done anything like this before, and so I was super meticulous. I was trying to be very careful not to forget any tiny detail. I had folders and binders, copy upon copy of insurance cards. I had written a devotional packet for the ride there and back. I counted money and organized fundraisers. We held a spiritual retreat to make sure teens were spiritually ready for this event. I was hopeful that I had thought of every last detail. I didn't want anything to go wrong. However, I quickly learned that no matter how much work I had done, 

nothing would be up to me. 

None of the work I did, none of my capabilities, skills or organizational abilities were going to be what mattered. See, getting us to Colorado was simply a means to a much greater end. I wanted to see the lives of these teenagers transformed. I wanted to see them experience God and understand what it means to give their entire lives over to them. My folders and binders were not going to make that happen. Even my carefully folded devotional packets weren't going to make that transformation a reality. 

As I settled into my seat in the arena the first night, I took a deep breath and tried to settle myself down. We were barely on time for the session, having arrived late due to a wrong turn made by the vehicle I was supposed to be navigating. I took a look around at the group I was with as the lights went down. We had arrived, and suddenly the control I had was no more. Quickly the program started, and as I took in the words that were opening the event, my mind was blown. The scripture being read was the one we had done in the devotional packet that morning. I could never have made that happen on my own. That was all God.

This was not the last time this happened. Over and over again, the messages my fellow youth leaders and I had been seeking to teach the kids, were being repeated by the speakers on the stage, or were popping up in the devotionals they had provided. I eventually lost count of the amount of times I caught myself laughing at the power of God to orchestrate such perfect, seeming coincidences. Still, my determination to rely on my own abilities was controlling me. In my desire to see the kids learn, I had missed the leasing God was trying to teach me. It finally hit me towards the end of the conference.

Once again I was sitting in my seat, looking around at the group of teenagers I had found myself somehow in charge of. I was overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy. How could I possibly lead them? How could I make sure they were allowing God to work in their hearts and speak to them? I looked up at the sky and expressed this very thought to God, and heard a clear concise answer: 

Alone, you can't, but, if you let me, through you, I can. 

I Can't. He Can. 

At that moment, I found myself humbled beyond belief. In my own human ability there is no way that I can lead these kids. There is no way that I can change their lives that they might live fully for Jesus. Only God can do that. All he is asking me to do is partner with Him. I am so excited, terrified, and humbled to be able to say, 

"Here is my life, Lord, use it as You see fit. Not through my strength and ability, but only through yours. Let my life be one continuous slice of humble pie."

Jesus Changes Everything

How the Bible is Different from a Jane Austen Novel, and Why That Matters

I’ve always loved words. Even at a young age, I thoroughly enjoyed crafting descriptive sentences that flowed beautifully on a page. I was not a very good drawer (though I often pretended to be) but I knew that I could create pictures with my words. I would sit at my desk, fashioned out of a large tote box and placed in my walk in closet, and I would write. I was all of five years old, but already the power of words had captivated me. To this day I feel drawn to classic novels that seem to be penned with great care. A well written sentence can arouse so much excitement in me that it is safe to say I am a bonafide book nerd. This great love of mine for all things literary makes it very easy for me to relate to the concept of life as a story. Seeing the Bible as God’s great narrative that I am called to live into gives me goosebumps. But I need to be careful. When I read the Bible I need to ask myself if I am looking for well crafted sentences, or if I am letting the words lift off the pages in such a way that they transform my life. 

In his book Eat This Book: A Conversation in the Art of Spiritual Reading, Eugene Peterson warns against a sort of upward sacrilege that can happen in reading the Bible. There is a tendency to inflate scripture with elegance and seemingly “holy” language. As much as I enjoy a good Jane Austen novel, her ancient english does not easily work itself into my everyday life. She provides me with stories for pleasure that transport me to another world, not life shaping narratives to infiltrate my very existence. 

That’s the task of scripture.

The Bible itself was written in the language of commoners. It was not written in the language of the highly educated or the elite. It was written for those on the streets in the language they used in the most mundane parts of their lives. Why? Because God sought to reveal his involvement in those very moments! The Bible is not a classic novel. It is the revelation of God to his creation. It is an invitation to see one’s own place in the story of God. 

It was Peterson’s discussion of the Lord’s prayer that drove this point home for me (pp 148-150). He speaks of the line that states, “Give us this day our daily bread.” For years people sought to spiritualize this line. After all the Greek word used here for daily was nowhere to be found, so who was to say it actually meant “daily?” It could have certainly meant something more spiritual. Why would the prayer taught by Jesus himself, one that centered around spiritual things such as the will of God and his kingdom mention something so physical as bread? It was not until an ancient document containing that very Greek word in a way that could only be translated as daily or todays that the physicality of that verse was accepted and seen. Why did this strike me? Because God does care about the physical! In the midst of glorifying God the Father, in asking for his will to be done, in repenting of sins, Jesus makes the simple request for bread. There is nothing spiritual about this. It is a felt material need, and yet Jesus speaks it. The relationship between God and his people is one that seeps into every area of life. God is not some metaphysical being sitting in the sky, uninvolved in our lives. He is not an abstract deity that cares only of our spiritual existence. He is a personal God who longs to be in relationship with us, a relationship that invades every part of life. How do we know this? Because he reveals himself to us in the ordinary. The stories told in the Old Testament are ones of family experiences and daily tasks. When Jesus walked the earth he spoke the language of the people. He walked their streets and told them stories. The Bible then cannot be viewed as a well written classic that will forever be on the New York Times bestselling list. Rather, it must be the words that define every simple, common and ordinary moment of our lives. From the confessing of our sins to the making of our bread, God is involved in it all.

Let us not turn his words into empty sentences respected only for their eloquence. Instead, let us see the earthy, physical nature of scripture and may it become the soil from which we grow into the members of God’s story we were created to be. 

Rethinking Church

I've been going to church for awhile now. Twenty-two years to be exact, and can probably count on one hand the amount of Sundays I haven't gone. Church has just always been a part of my life, but as I've begun studying to become a pastor I've really started asking, "what is the point of church?" Why do I go? What is the church supposed to be? Well my reading of the Bible, as well as various books about ecclesiology (which is just a fancy word for the study of the church), have brought me to a conclusion that stands in the face of the classical, very western way of viewing church. 

See, there's this funny view of church that has emerged in our culture. It's one that can be seen by the amount of churches on one street. It's epitomized by the phrase, "church shopping." This view of church feeds off of debates on music choices and preaching styles or whether or not video clips have any place in church. 

I call it the "Have it YOUR Way" model. 

Basically it's the idea that church is for me. It's where I go to get spiritually fed. I should be able to choose which church I want to attend based on whether or not I like the music, how comfortable their seats are and if I find the pastor engaging enough. Like being able to choose how I want my hamburger from Burger King, I should be able to choose how I want to experience church. 

I've fallen into this trap myself. I've done the church shopping, picking churches based on style rather than theology. It makes sense in our individualistic culture, but compared to the scriptural depictions of church, this "Have it YOUR Way" method is clearly missing the point. 

Paul's first letter to the Corinthians presents a clear picture of what the church is to be. From the very beginning, Paul is calling them out on the ways they are divided. The Corinthians are arguing over whose teachings they follow whether it's Paul's or Peter's and so on. Paul makes it clear; Christ is not divided. As Christians we follow Christ and Christ alone and we are to be united in doing so. Further on in this very same letter, Paul addresses another problem within their church meetings. Once again they are divided, and not only are they divided but they are not caring for one another. When they partake in the Lord's Supper, which was more a meal and not our little wafer and cup of juice model, people were looking to their own desires and not to the needs of others. Some would eat their fill while others went away hungry. Paul reminds the Corinthians that this is not the point of gathering as a church. He says, 

"So then, my brothers and sisters, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. If you are hungry, eat at home, so that when you come together it will not be for your condemnation." (1 Corinthians 11:33-34). 

Paul is stating quite plainly that church is to be a place of looking to the needs of others and filling them. It is not a place where you come to get your fill, to satisfy your needs, but rather it is to be a place where you come to serve others. That is what church is about. The church, the body of Christ, is to be a picture to the world of the Kingdom of God on earth. It is to act as an alternative community inviting people to experience the redemption and reconciliation of Jesus Christ. How can the church fulfill this purpose if it lives divided over things like coffee hour and projection screens?

As I was thinking about this topic, the words of Jesus came to mind when He says,

"For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). 

We are called to be like Jesus; He calls us to make ourselves the least instead of striving to be the greatest. What would happen if we as Christians entered church each Sunday thinking, " I am here not to be served but to serve."? How much more of a community of reconciliation would we be if that was our attitude? Instead of getting frustrated because the pastor is boring us, or we feel like the songs are too fast or too slow, what if we looked around and the people sitting next to us and thought about how we could act as a servant in their lives. What if we came to church to see how our pastor was doing instead of critiquing him or her throughout the whole service. What if instead of coming to see what we could get out of the service, we entered to see what we could give.

Let's stop viewing church as a fast-food restaurant where we can have it our way, and instead start seeing it as a family of believers dedicated to serving one another that the world might see that we serve the God of reconciled and redeemed relationships.

Let's start coming to church not to be served but to serve. 

When God Says Stay

In theatre there is one phrase all actors and actresses hate. It's a cliche that, to the ears of a performer, sounds like nails on a chalkboard. It goes like this, 

"There are no small roles, only small actors." 

Oh sure, it sounds sweet. It sounds comforting and encouraging, but really it's just something we all say to try to make our crying a bit more minimal after looking at a disappointing cast list. Let's be honest, if you audition for a play, you want a good role. You want to feel like your audition led to something great. Sometimes that doesn't happen, so we console ourselves by saying there are no small roles, but when we're honest, we really wish we had gotten that bigger part. Still, as frustrating as that cliche can be, it has a lot of truth in it, a lot of truth that I have come to understand in big ways lately. 

I've been discovering that in God's grand story there are no small roles. We are all invited to participate in what God is doing to redeem this world, and we are not divided into giant saints and little helpers. All who choose to surrender their lives to God and His plan have huge, grand roles in His story, even when those roles seem so small. 

I've been feeling fairly small lately. When preparing to graduate college I told God to send me anywhere to do anything. I braced myself for a calling to a remote village filled with poverty like I have never seen. I was ready to sit with an orphan on my lap singing songs about Jesus in some foreign language. I figured my calling might not be exactly that, but I anticipated something in that larger than life category. After all, all the books I read about people surrendering to God always involved them being called to some great adventure. So I prayed, and I surrendered, and... 

I got sent back home. 

That's right, my deep times of mediation and surrendering, my time of Bible study, all led me to the same conclusion. I needed to move home, move back in with my parents, work a part time nannying job and volunteer at church. When I finally accepted that this was what I was hearing, I looked up to God and said one word, 

"Really?" 

Honestly, I had told God I would go anywhere, and I meant anywhere. I had said I would do whatever He called me to do. That act of surrender was supposed to be the beginning of some crazy experience that other people would look at and think, "Wow, God is really using her." (Even as I write this, I see how prideful and void of surrender my thought process was, but it's how I felt.) This whole, move home concept made no sense to me. I wanted something bigger. Yet, I heard go home, so to home I went. 

I've been home for about two months now, and just this past week heard of an opportunity to go get a full-time job in Family Ministries, something I am hugely passionate about. As I prayed about it, I found myself wrestling with God once more. "Stay here" was the message I was getting, but it wasn't the one I wanted. I still craved something bigger. However, as I heard, "stay here," I also heard a question. God continuously asked me, 

"Who defines big?"

I needed to think about who I was allowing to dictate my life. Was I living for the approval of the people around me, of the people I assumed expect me to do great things with my life? Was I letting the world's perception of big dictate my actions or was I seeking only to please God? When I had told God anywhere, did I mean it, or did I only mean anywhere big and exciting? 

Finally this morning I let go. I told God that I would trust Him. I know that my entire life is worship, so I decided I would live for Him even in what I saw as small. Today at church eight people got baptized. I got to teach babies the truth of God and build deeper relationships with some of the kids' parents. I got to be a part of a youth ministry that is deeply impacting the lives of many teenagers. All of this may not be book worthy, but it's not small. These things are huge, not because of me, but because God is moving. I'm just honored and humbled that He would even choose to work through me. 

So I'm embracing my call to stay, because in God's story saying, "there are no small roles," is not a cliche. It's the truth. 

Called to Preach, Not Debate

I read this blog today. It was humbling, and came at the perfect time. I recently took my first seminary class, and the professor spent a good portion of class talking about the importance of inclusive language, and Biblical support for gender equality. 

As a woman pursuing ministry, I ate it up.

Having been put in situations where my call has been questioned, or point blank been said to be wrong, this kind of encouragement was refreshing and desired. In fact, over the past few years of wrestling with my call to ministry, running from it, and finding myself needing to defend it to strangers, I had begun to delve into the research surrounding this topic. I absorbed all critique and support of women in ministry. I wanted to validate my call, while carefully ensuring that I wasn't falling into sin as some opponents believed I was. Once I became confident in my calling and the Biblical support of women in ministry, the research became more like debate planning, and though I knew that pursuing ordination was not sinning, I began to fall into a sin I never planned on sinking into.

I became bitter.

I had been hurt by people of God who I respected greatly. I allowed this hurt to stir up resentment within me. I was going to research women in ministry, and I was going to prove them wrong. I was going to show the ways in which God affirmed my call to ministry while staying true to the Bible. My research was no longer about me and my relationship with God, it was no longer about becoming the woman in ministry He was calling me to be, it was about validating myself. Forget a call to preach; I was embracing a call to debate.

For all of this, I apologize. 

I am sorry I sat in my pain. I'm sorry I nursed my hurt, allowing it to grow into bitterness. Above all, I am sorry I sought to prove you wrong. That is not what my ministry is about, and I never want that to be what I focus on.

God has called me to ministry; I will not back away from that calling. However, He has called me to His ministry, and that is one of reconciliation. In 2 Corinthians 5:18 we are told that we are given the, "ministry of reconciliation." I believe that God is calling His people to live into His Kingdom, a Kingdom that is coming and already here where we live in peace with one another under His sovereign Lordship.  I believe in bringing restoration to the broken in this world in the name of Jesus. These are callings that involve the entire body of Christ.

I do not want to debate with you; I want to serve with you. I want to minister to this broken world with you. 

My dad and I were talking this morning before I read that poignant blog. I was discussing the way my seminary professor had affirmed women in ministry, and my dad looked at me and said, "Kayleigh, you have to let it go, because you're never going to get the people who disagree with you to change their minds, and it's just going to hurt you."

He's right. You may be reading this disagreeing with me about women in ministry, and I won't be able to convince you of otherwise. But God did not call me to ministry to prove that women can be ordained. He called me into ministry to bring His reconciliation to the world, and to do so I need to be reconciled with you. And so, taking the wise advice of my father, I am letting my defenses go.

So let's do ministry, chasing God and His kingdom together. 

A New Kind of Resolution

Happy New Year! It's that time again. The time of year when people look back on their lives give thanks and then think about where they want to make changes. It's a time celebrated by purchasing gym memberships and vowing to eat more carrots. It's a time of writing lists of things one hopes to accomplish in the upcoming years. A few of these lists have been shared online, and I've read a couple, and I was confused. The ones I read were very focused on living a young and free lifestyle while you still could. The one item on the list that really got me was, "make-out with a stranger." After reading that, I had to stop and ask myself, what do I want to do with 2014? I certainly don't want to do that, but I'm young, I'm not married, I recently graduated college so the world tells me I'm at the perfect stage in my life to make a crazy, elaborate New Year's Resolution. I think that's a valid statement. I am at the perfect stage of my life to make a radical New Year's Resolution, but not because of my age or marital status, but because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. I've felt challenged in this past year to live differently, and today I want to present that challenge to you. I call it:

Challenge: Overflowing Love

A while ago I was struggling with the concept of loving like Jesus loves. I was struck by the verse,

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."-John 13:34-35.

It seems so straight forward, so simplistic. However, I analyze things. I think too much far too often. I caught myself wondering about how we are to love one another. God commands us to love, as He has loved us, but what does that look like? I was praying about this when I heard the reminder that those who seek will find. So I asked God to show me how He loves people. And He did.

Day after day I sought after God's love for people and the ways He was loving others. I saw the way He could see beyond a person into their hurt and pain. I saw the way He forgave people. I felt the way He was teaching me. I saw the way He provided people to truly listen to others. In all these ways He was loving people, and He was calling me to love people in the same way. It was challenging to say the least. No longer could I simply walk by someone, now I was called to see them, to truly see them and not simply look through them. No longer could I ask someone how they were doing without truly investing myself into caring about their answer. Understanding the many ways Jesus loves people compelled me to love differently. Though it made my life a bit more intricate, it did not make it more difficult because God's love is an overflowing love.

On New Year's Eve we threw my mom a surprise birthday party and we covered the ceiling with 100 balloons. Getting the balloons out of the car was an adventure in itself. They were crammed into the back of my Aunt's van, and we had to carefully push them out of the door so that they didn't blow away in the frigid, winter wind. They were bursting to be released.

That's how God's love works. When we experience it ourselves, when we seek after it that we might better understand it, it fills us to the brim allowing us to release it onto others.

So that's my New Year's Resolution. I'm going to take the Overflowing Love Challenge seeking to see and understand how God loves others, and as I do so I'm going to seek to love people in the same way. It's not a resolution to make-out with strangers, but a call to love them, and the people I know, the way God loves.