The Beauty of Packing Light

Today's the day. After months of preparation and anticipation, I'm leaving for Ukraine. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. It's exciting and incredibly nerve racking, but it's time and I'm ready... I think. Well, I'm at least packed. We were asked to pack very lightly, bringing only a cary on. This part of preparation I thought was going to be difficult, but as I researched packing methods and began compiling a packing list, I realized that packing light is actually quite exhilarating. There is something very freeing about living like a minimalist. Though I had to pack and repack to get my small carry on and backpack to weigh only 26 pounds, I managed. This morning as I was doing my devotions, I realized that packing lightly has to do with more than simply rolling t-shirts and limiting yourself to only 2 bags.
As I was reading the story of Thomas, you know the man who will live infamously in history as the "doubter," I realized that not only did I need to leave some of my clothing home, but also some of my expectations. I needed to have blind faith and trust. It is so easy to go into trips like these and imagine what is going to happen. I'm a daydreamer and I like to conjure up wild imaginations of what my life may hold. However, when I do this I often get in trouble. See, my planning and dreaming means that I try to take control of my life. I loose faith. The connection between this and the story of Thomas is fairly small, but hopefully it'll make as much sense to you as it does to me. See, after Jesus shows Thomas His scars He says,

Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Jesus is telling Thomas that faith is meant to be blind. It is meant to be completely trusting. I can dream up ideas and plans, creating for myself expectations, but that is not living with a blind, trusting faith. That is me taking control. As Thomas hoped to see proof of the resurrection, so I am hoping for certain outcomes. Packing light spiritually means letting go of these expectations. It means going to Ukraine completely trusting in whatever plan God has and realizing that I don't need to see it. This kind of packing light is even more freeing and exhilarating than the first. When God takes control, it's a beautiful thing.

Lessons from a Ukrainian Bible

Learning a language is an interesting task. When I found out I would be going to Ukraine for a missions trip, I knew I was going to have to try to master at least a few basic phrases in Ukrainian. So I did what everyone does when they need to learn something, and googled it. I successfully found multiple websites that would teach me Ukrainian online, for free. So I got started. I learned the entire alphabet (yeah, it's not the same one we have) and began learning how to say things like, "Hello" and "What's your name?" I also purchased the one Ukrainian phrase book in all of Barnes and Noble. Apparently Ukraine isn't a hot travel destination. Though this book has been extremely helpful, I got bored looking through its pages over and over. So, I developed a language learning method of my own. One that I found thoroughly entertaining. I began reading the Bible in Ukrainian. 

With my phrase book in hand, Bible Gateway opened in one tab and Google Translate in another, I began to translate passages of scripture. Bible Gateway has this wonderful feature where you can put two versions of the Bible parallel to each other, so I would look at both the NRSV and the Ukrainian Bible and compare. Learning Ukrainian this way meant that I could think about Ukraine and theology at the same time! It was wonderful and I learned a lot about both. 

One passage that I worked on was Micah 6. The verse 

He has shown you, O Man, what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you, only to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with the Lord your God. -Micah 6:8

is one that I have prayed and clung to as a way of reminding myself of what truly matters. I love this verse and the way God has spoken to me through it. If you're anything like me you have seen these words as instructions on how to live. As I read this verse in Ukrainian, it took on a whole new depth of meaning. Here's what it looks like (isn't Ukrainian fun to look at?)

Було тобі виявлено, о людино, що добре, і чого пожадає від тебе Господь, нічого, а тільки чинити правосуддя, і милосердя любити, і з твоїм Богом ходити сумирно.

The word, "пожадає," is in the place of the English word, "requires." However, it does not mean requires. It is translated as desires. When I saw this, I was immediately reminded of Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

I remember the first time God really spoke to me about this verse. He showed me that this verse is not turning Him into a magical genie who gives you whatever you want as long as you delight in Him, but rather that when He becomes your everything your desires become the ones He has for you. From that point on, my prayer became that I would learn to delight in Him. This would allow my desires to be replaced by His. It is my desire to get married, so I pray to make sure God wants me to desire a husband. I desire to adopt children, and pray to make sure that's God's desire for my life as well. The list goes on. However, as I read the Ukrainian translation of Micah 6:8, I was struck by the realization that God's desires for my life go a little bit deeper than my future family. Though I believe that God cares about every area of my life, I'm starting to understand that when one delights in the Lord, earthly desire like marriage and adopted children become replaced with what it is He truly desires of me, "to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Him." For that is truly what God desires of His people.

The word desire is a strong one. Stronger than I think many people realize. It suggests a deep longing. Though I still want to get married one day, and would love to have a few adopted children, and I still want to go to Grad School and Seminary, and I am still hoping for all sorts of things, God is showing me how to make them basic wants and not desires. As I learn to delight in Him, He is turning my desires, the things I pine after, into doing justice and loving mercy and walking humbly with Him.

It's amazing what one can learn from a Ukrainian Bible :).