That topic? Singleness.
Not just your normal singleness though. The singleness of young Christian women. All throughout evangelical circles, many young women are graduating from their private Christian colleges without that much desired MRS. Degree. Rings by spring are simply not happening for all of us. As a college senior about to graduate from one of these Christian colleges, I am very familiar with this new trend, this singleness that is often viewed as a disease in need of curing, and I am very, very familiar with the various cures suggested. They sound like this:
"I trust that God will bring you a husband one day."
"Keep waiting, when the timing is right he will come."
And my personal favorite, "Always remember that you are filet mignon, so never settle for a cheap hamburger."
All of these phrases have been spoken to me several times throughout my college career. Now I am not critiquing the people who said them. I know they all had wonderful intentions of encouraging me to be patient and hold out for the husband God might possibly have in my future. However, as I listened to the phrases and nodded and smiled politely, thanking them for their kind words, something was stirred up in me, something I have been working to squish. While these well-intending members of my church were trying to encourage patience in me, all their words were doing were reminding me of my singleness, making it a problem in me that would one day be solved. A disease that was not chronic, but would one day have a cure.
They were allowing me to become discontent.
See, us single evangelicals do have a disease, and we need to recognize it. But it's not our singleness. It's a disease shared by singles and non-singles alike.
It's our sinful nature.
My ability to easily become discontented with the way my life is, to desire more than I have, to not find fulfillment in God alone, that is my disease. Not my singleness. Discontentment transcends my singleness, for the cure is not in the man I may one day marry. I do not learn to become content by entering a relationship. The cure is God alone.
In Philippians 4:12-13, Paul says this
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.That last verse, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength," is widely quoted and used by many to teach that God makes all things possible and gives us the strength to do all He requires us to do. While all of this is true, the verse takes on a very specific meaning in its context. For God is giving Paul the strength to be content. Contentment goes against our very nature, it is a sin that needs to be overcome, and this is only possible through God, the one in which were are to find our contentment.
Instead of falling into the trap of discontentment, of finding ourselves in a constant state of waiting for that man everyone tells us will one day come, we need to be filling ourselves with God that He may give us the strength to be content in all circumstances. Not to make us better prepared for our possible future husbands, that is not the point. A relationship is not the cure to our discontentment. We will struggle against being discontent even in marriage. Instead we take up this battle against our discontentment because it is part of our sinful nature, it is part of what separates us from God.
Maybe it's time we start being thankful for singleness. It can bring us face to face with our tendency to become discontent. It can cause us to fall on our knees and learn to depend on God's strength to overcome our sinful nature. Not so we can one day be the perfect wife, but so that we might today love and serve the perfect God.
